Ups and Downs of Love.

So,I am doing this post for a GREAT friend of mine. She has been going threw a rough break up and here lately I have been feeling a little helpless for her. I feel like there is nothing I can do to help. But sit here and listen. Although I have NEVER gone threw what she is going threw,I try to put myself in her shoes. And try to relate the best I can. She blames herself. Even though she is the one that broke it off.She was sick of the way she was treated. In this post,I am going to express my feelings about break ups. And love. So,here is goes. RAWR!!!(you know what this means girl) Every body at some point in their life has to go threw something so life changing,so mind blowing and so soul crushing to find out who they really are. Break ups are NEVER easy. They make your life feel so.... so..... so......lost. You go from having this person by your side every minute. And seeing this person everyday and talking to them and the jokes and the memories and the LOVE you and this person shared. (I am going to do this from a girls side of view.) Girl falls in love with boy. Boy and girl love each other for about 3 years. Boy makes a life changing decision to go into (i'll say) Army. Knowing he will be away from girl for a LONG time.(this is the part where boy should be CLOSER to girl)Boy is mean to girl.Girl feels worthless. Girl feels like the boy she fell in love with is NOT who she is with NOW! Girl decides to make an adult decision for HER SELF and break up with boy. Boy says means things to girl. Makes girl feel like even more shit. Inside,girl is DYING! =( Now,my feelings on this! Girl-Should not feel bad. She did the right thing. She is growing up. And finding out who she really is. Inside and out. And even though it is going to be hard. She needs to open those beautiful eyes and see she is ALIVE,BEAUTIFUL,SMART and FUNNY! ANY GUY would be LUCKY to have girl! Girl has no reason to beat herself up over this. Boy treats girl bad. Boy must SUFFER! (I feel like I am talking like a caveman!ARGH!) Boy-You are a DOUCHE MONKEY and I will CURB stomp you when I see you! jerkface


Girl-I hope you just laughed!=)

RAWR!


On a serious note though.
-I can't say this enough,you do NOT, SHOULD NOT, feel bad! You should not beat yourself up over this. You did NOTHING wrong! You did what you FELT in your MIND and HEART was right for YOU!


You are a strong person. And I know things right now are tough. But trust me,they will get better. You will be able to look at those pictures one day and say to yourself "Why the F*** did I love this douche bag?" And you will delete those pictures without crying! You will be able to look back at the old messages and comments and videos and memories and not feel like "the bad guy"(well,girl in your case). You will be able to look up and SMILE and know that you made it threw this.

And I promise you,things WON'T get worse. The first step is the hardest step. And that's the getting over boy part. Once you do that,SMOOTH sailing from there!

Things may not look good or feel right,right now. But they will get better.

Love is a SCARY roller-coaster. There are ups and downs. And some times more downs then ups. That's when you have to make a choice for YOU! Do what's right for YOU! And you did!

Please stop beating yourself up! Keep in mind,YOU'RE NOT THE ONE WHO CHANGED!

Hold your head up pretty lady!

RAWR!

things that make you think.

So,I have been putting this off for a LONG time. I don't know why really. I guess the thought of sitting here and typing till my fingers fall off just didn't rub me the right way. But I figured tonight would be a good night to start. Considering I am bored out of my ever loving mind. So I thought now would be a great time to start this.

A lot has changed since I turned 21. I keep saying 21 was my time.
I have made several new friends. I have an awesome job. And December 24 2010 Josh and I got engaged.

Now let me tell you a little bit about us(people have been saying we are too young to be engaged)

We have been together for THREE years. We have known each other for THIRTEEN years! It's kinda funny how things have worked out.

So here is THAT story.

(now hold your horses. i'll tell you the "marry me?"story in a second.you need to know US first)

Now Josh and I been (went) to the same schools pretty much all of our life. We went to Elementary school together. Middle School and High School.

Now,all of this started in 3rd grade. YES 3rd GRADE! Wow,is right folks!

We used to get married all the time on the playground=)
He used to pick on my and everything!=)

As we got older things changed of course. We went onto Middle School.(now that's where my feelings got really strong!)
We would talk every now and then. Because we hardly seen each other.
Onto High school(i know by now you're wondering when it gets good)we NEVER seen each other! Maybe once in a blue moon.I'd hear rumors about a kid named Josh liking me. But I just over looked it. I thought it was lies. He was a football player I was the rebel. I THOUGHT I was WAY outta his league.
Well he ended up moving away. And I thought that was the last I'd EVER see of him!

Well,in the ending of May 2007 I got a friend request from Josh . And I swear,my heart went all kinds of crazy. We talked EVERY night! Every day! ALL THE TIME!
Then around April 8th I asked him out. 2 days later I broke up with him because I was falling in love and I was scared and then April 18th 2007 he said and I quote "YOU ARE MY BABY" and BAM!
Now,here is what you have been waiting for!(drum rolls)
Every year on Christmas Eve Josh and I and his family all go to Atl and eat at the Varsity and go to Olympic park for lights and hot chocolate and ice skating. Well,everyone is taking pics and Kyle is like "Okay,whose next?" Josh is like Candice and I. So we walk up to the HUGE tree(pic soon) and I get all posed and ready and Josh is like, "Wait,I want you to read my shirt first" and me knowing Josh and knowing his personalty,I'm thinking it's some stupid shirt! Well he unzipped his coat and there is was "Will You marry Me?". All I could do was cry for a few minutes. And everyone's face was like "um....YES". Finally I say YEAH....YES.!!!!" And he slips the ring on my finger!

There you have that story!

Onto the next!
Every year people say things are gonna be different and what not. Well,this year I am STAYING THE SAME! Well,I am gonna dye my hair but that's different! I mean,I'm not changing who I am! I like who I am!

Now,this post wasn't to brag about my great job,kick ass friends or my wonderful newly FIANCE'.It was to simply tell you how much my life has changed since I turned 21.

I have learned a lot about life.
People come in and out of your life. They turn their backs on you when something doesn't turn out right. They stab you in the back when someone new comes around. They turn on you in a SECOND.
I have patched up some lose ends. And the ones I haven't patched up ,well there is a reason behind that.
I am 21 years old. I don't need high school drama.


I love my life now. 21 has been a good number for me!
My life could not be any more amazing!

Life

So,here's an update on what I have been up too here lately.
Well, I got a job! Finally! My birthday was Oct 22nd. Turned 21!=) Had my first LEGAL drink! =) Got a little buzzed! Had a blast! I couldn't of asked for a better birthday!
Spent my 21st with the best brother and family in the WHOLE world! Yeah,that's the "brother". He's an effing beast! He can beat your brother up!=P He is just amazing!
Well,that's me! DUH! Sporting my crown! It felt good to be a princess for the day! =) All in all things have been great!

Staying Strong!

So,the past few weeks I have thought about giving up on the whole You Tube Channel thing. Just because I haven't gotten much subscribers.BUT I didn't. I have made SEVERAL videos over the last few weeks! And now I am in the process of editing them and trying to keep them UNDER 15 mins.=)

Keep on the look out for tutorials. I have a few. Like how to make your eye liner last LONGER!
And the best drug store eyeliner lipstick and much more! ALSO,all new outfit of the day!!!

=) So,Follow and Subscribe!!!

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Let's get ORGANIZED

This holds my eyeliner and mascaras and other stuffs.
This is pretty much my eye shadows
Just an over view of everything! Get a beeter view of my palettes and shiz!
Just everything in my drawers.


And this is it! This is the whole thing!

I'll be doing a lot more blogs tonight.

Keep in mind I'll be doing this over soon.=) Keep an eye out for a new vid and blog!

Butterfly Butterfly Fly Away!

Ever look at a butterfly? Like really look at it?
Notice all the colors. Watch how it moves when it lands on a flower. Watch as it flutters away into where ever?

They are free.

Ever wonder where they go at night?
I often think they turn into moths. You know,those ugly things that like light way to much.

I love butterflies. The way they move. The way they look. All the colors. Takes away everything. All the worry in life. All the sadness.All the anger in life. They just take it away.

Stand outside after rain. Watch how they flutter from flower to flower. landing and making it their own.

All your problems seem to flutter away with them.
They see, to take all your problems away. They are like little problem solvers.
Ever look at a butterfly? Like really look it? Just stand there and watch it. Watch it move and watch it take over a flower and make it it's own. Watch it become one with the air!
Watch it flutter around you. Land on you. Tickle your nose as it flies by.

Butterfly,Butterfly,Fly Away.
Take all my problems away.
Make it seem as if today
For once I am free.

WTH

My YouTube got hacked! I mean I'm not even a BIG youtube person and I got hacked! I just don't get it. I understand if I was a major youtube star but I'm not. I'm TRYING to be. So what was the point in hacking me! Stupid!


Anyways,I'm doing a video for my hacker!
I'm always going to post my MAC brushes on here and a few new things I've gotten or going to be getting soon!